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全神贯注的倾听 Listen with full attention.
- 如果家长能真正倾听孩子的叙述，孩子就能更容易表达他们面临的困境。有时候孩子需要的是我们能与他们产生共情。
- It’s much easier to tell your troubles to a parent who is really listening. Sometimes a sympathetic silence is all a child needs. -
用 “哦 。。。” “嗯。。。” “是这样啊。。。” 代替提问和建议来回应他们的感受 Acknowledge their feelings with a word—“Oh” . . . “Mmm” . . . “I see.”
- 以关心的态度，使用 “哦 。。。” “嗯。。。” “是这样啊。。。” 这样简单的话来回应孩子，孩子就能在叙述的过程中，整理自己的思路和感受，从而有可能自己找到解决办法。
- There’s a lot of help to be had from a simple “Oh . . . mmm . . .” or “I see.” Words like these, coupled with a caring attitude, are invitations to a child to explore her own thoughts and feelings, and possibly come up with her own solutions. -
正面孩子的感受 Give their feelings a name.
- 父母通常不会说出孩子的感受，是因为他们担心这样做会让孩子更难过。其实相反，当孩子听到这些话时，心里会感到安慰，会感受到有人能理解他们内心的感受。
- Parents don’t usually give this kind of response, because they fear that by giving a name to the feeling they’ll make it worse. Just the opposite is true. The child who hears the words for what she is experiencing is deeply comforted. Someone has acknowledged her inner experience. -
用幻想的方式实现他们的愿望 Give them their wishes in fantasy.
- 有时候，孩子对某种东西的渴望心情一旦得到了理解，他们就能比较容易接受现实
- Sometimes just having someone understand how much you want something makes reality easier to bear